Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
