you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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