I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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