you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
