google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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