Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
