woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
