pedialite and red bull = repair kit
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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