This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
