So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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