next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
