no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
