i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
