He kissed a someone with a penis
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
