Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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