Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
