I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
