I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
