Already got asked if we're dating
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
