Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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