Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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