it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
