She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
