I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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