Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
