East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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