just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
