I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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