Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
