Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
