I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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