he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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