That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
