I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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