I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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