you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
