Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
