Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
