Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
