Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This is my gift to your gina
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
