Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
