I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
