I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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