I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Houston, we have a blender
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
