How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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