Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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