It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
