after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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