Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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