Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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