Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
