I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
