having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
